|
|
| Fast
Forward e-Newsletter |
 |
Breaking
Up the Band
By Andre Calilhanna |
 |
| |
| |
Being
in a band is often the most gratifying element in a musician’s
life. A band offers the opportunity to freely express oneself, create
music, establish friendships, perform, travel… there’s
a lot to like. But there’s also the brutal reality of the music
business, replete with stories of unwary artists being swallowed whole.
There is also the everyday reality of the group situation. Make no
mistake, bands consist of complicated interpersonal relationships.
Being in a band, particularly one where members are writing original
material, requires a level of trust and a type of closeness that goes
beyond any casual friendship.
Musicians, by nature, exhibit a certain, even heightened, level of
ego. On the flip side of that ego is a tender and vulnerable underbelly
that leads right to the emotional core. Exposing that vulnerable side
of oneself to one’s band mates helps define and cement the musical
relationship. It can also set the stage for some bruising conflicts.
As Ari Tuckman, a psychologist with experience counseling bands, puts
it, “Bands are minefields for arguments. Get three or more people
together, all of whom have ideas they are passionate about, and disagreements
are guaranteed.”
Inevitably, each group’s unique mix of talent, personality,
experience, and enthusiasm will be tested over time. Often, the disparity
between any of these elements signals a need for change. Change may
mean altering certain functions within the group dynamic. It may also
mean changing the group dynamic by letting someone from the band go.
Using Communication to Address Issues
Jay Levin, producer and managing partner of Turtle Studios in Philadelphia,
makes no bones about it. “The music industry is the most competitive
business in the world, so if you're serious about it, you have to
acknowledge the competition, you have to acknowledge how difficult
it's going to be. You simply can't afford to have any significant
weaknesses.
“Personnel weaknesses are absolutely at the top of that list.
It's not mean, because it's not optional. If someone is the wrong
collaborator, for any reason, including any aspect of talent or personality,
then tolerating that person almost certainly means you will fail.”
Some situations are simply not the right fit of talent and personality,
and that may take time to manifest. Sometimes, as Tuckman quips, “good
people are just not good together.”
One simple way to avoid unnecessary complications and aggravation
is through productive communication. In a band situation, this includes
defining the goals of each member and the collective group –
from who does what in the musical and business areas, to what the
band is ultimately trying to accomplish in the long and short term.
The problem is many bands simply aren’t on the same page and
don’t even know it.
“One thing that comes up a lot is mismatched goals,” says
Levin. “You'll hear one version of what the band is trying to
accomplish from one person, then a very different version from another.
Sometimes you'll see a band where every band member is on a totally
different page, or a band with factions.”
Starting out with mismatched goals is one easy way to ensure problems,
because while everyone might be putting in equal effort, the individual
efforts may literally be pulling the group in different directions.
The trick is to sit down and define short- and long-term goals collectively,
and delegate and distinguish what’s expected from each member
of the group at the outset. These goals will invariably change over
time, so this process should be dynamic and be continuously revisited.
There is the possibility that this communication will reveal discrepancies
regarding different or changing personal goals among band members.
“There are different scenarios,” Tuckman asserts. “One
is when it’s just not a good fit any more – maybe musically
somebody wants to do something different, or maybe something has changed
in terms of their availability or commitment. If someone simply isn’t
a good fit, everyone can just get together and talk about what’s
going on, what are the goals, and how to achieve them. Just because
you clicked at one time doesn’t mean you still do, and maybe
you never clicked as well as you thought you did.
“If, on the other hand, one of the members is clearly problematic,
that’s a time when the band needs to sit down with that person,
or perhaps one or two people in the band need to sit down with them,
and confront them about what it is they are doing. For example if
someone is drinking a lot, and that’s causing problems, because
they’re too hard to be with or they’re screwing up rehearsals
or they’re screwing up shows, the person needs to be confronted
on that behavior – not to cast blame but to affect a change.
The other members have to determine for themselves exactly how much
they are willing to put up with. At what point is it no longer worth
having whatever it is this person brings to the band, if it means
you have to put up with all this other destructive nonsense as well?”
Conflict, typically, may be something you think you should avoid.
This is not necessarily true. As Tuckman asserts, “Conflict
can actually be productive if handled correctly.” The important
thing is to differentiate between a personal issue and a clash of
ideas, goals, or perspective.
In other words, try to handle conflict by relating not to the personal
traits of the person involved, but by addressing a specific action
and its effects on the band. By differentiating between the person
and the action, you stand a much better chance of affecting a change.
It is important to resolve conflict before it gets too large and becomes
the proverbial elephant in the room, the lingering problem that no
one wants to talk about.
“The bad blood that comes from an unresolved argument spills
over into everything else,” warns Tuckman. “These resentments
come out eventually, often in ways completely unrelated to the initial
circumstances. This can snowball until the specifics of each incident
are forgotten and replaced by a general sense of frustration. By this
point, it’s almost impossible to talk constructively about these
feelings because they are so intense and no two people remember anything
the same way.”
Confronting a Band Mate
Tuckman offers these steps to consider when confronting a band mate:
1. Identify the problem. Let’s say your vocalist is new to live
performance and is having trouble staying in key while playing live.
2. Provide specific examples and offer objective measures. For example,
address it with “At the last few performances, there are a number
moments during the set where you were singing flat.” Having
tapes of the performances to back your claims will help define this
an objective assertion, rather than a general attack or just your
opinion.
3. Communicate clearly and objectively why this bothers you. You may
say, “In many ways, the vocals are the most important part of
the music. It is imperative that we always sound great. This is impacting
our chances of attracting fans, getting better gigs, and progressing
as a live act.” Do your best to avoid a blaming tone and don’t
attack or put the person on the defensive. Keep the discussion limited
to the topic at hand. Dragging in other subjects will result in a
giant tangled ball of unresolved issues.
4. Get the other person’s input on the situation. Maybe they
see things differently. For example, maybe he’s having difficulty
hearing onstage and has never communicated that to you or doesn’t
know to ask for more vocals or guitar in his monitor. Maybe his earplugs
are the cause of the problem.
5. Communicate clearly what needs to be done and why it’s important.
If you feel the situation still needs to change (e.g., this has been
going on in recordings and rehearsals, too), suggest vocal lessons
with the specific goal of improving pitch recognition and matching.
Of course, as you discuss the situation, you too may need to make
some changes. For example, maybe you need to alter the guitar part
in the chorus to make it less busy and help the singer hear his note.
6. Clearly communicate what changes need to be made, and when, and
what will happen if they aren’t. Be specific, since confusion
comes from vagueness. Set a time frame for when the pitch issue needs
to be resolved. If changing the monitors and earplugs doesn’t
help, set a time frame for when vocal lessons need to begin. If things
still do not improve, be prepared to make good on whatever your stated
outcome is.
Obviously, many of these conversations aren’t easy to initiate
or follow through with, but the reality of the group ultimately disbanding
due to unresolved issues is a likely alternative. You owe it to yourself,
the band, and the individuals involved to promote an environment where
ideas, frustrations, and criticism can flow in a constructive and
creative fashion. In doing so, many potentially lethal situations
may be nipped in the bud, or at the very least, can be addressed and
dealt with before feelings turn sour and beyond repair.
Which is to say, maybe you have to deal with the fact that someone
has to be let go. Again, it’s not typically an easy notion to
arrive at or execute, but sometimes it’s simply a matter of
saving the band. And, harsh as it may sound, there are always other
musicians out there who can fit into to your project.
“Talent is a valuable commodity, but not necessarily a rare
commodity,” muses Levin. “There is always someone with
talent out there. What's rare is to find someone who is both talented
and highly professional – and better yet, someone who shares
your vision. The more time you waste on unworkable talents, the less
time you have to find the people you really should be working with.”
It has been stated already, but sometimes good people aren’t
good for each other. There are many reasons why a certain musician
is not the right person for your band. According to Tuckman, “You
need to like your band mates enough to tolerate being around them
a lot. You have to perform well together, in terms of the art of performing
and writing. But you also need to be able to work well together, that’s
more the business end of it, including the division of labor and the
thousand behind-the-scene details. To do well as a band you need to
hit all three – to do badly as a band you only need to have
a problem with one.”
“This will sound awful,” says Levin in summation, “but
my main advice to musicians is, feel free to fire somebody. Fire five
people if you have to. People who are unreliable, or who come with
a lot of baggage or attitude, or who won't practice, or who irritate
other people – you can waste literally years of time and energy
trying to make things work with those people. And for what?”
Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA is a psychologist in private practice in
Exton, PA. He has worked with bands and musicians on finding common
goals and resolving disputes. A frequent presenter, he has appeared
on radio and TV, and in newspapers. More information about his practice
may be found at http://www.TuckmanPsych.com.
Jay Levin is the co-founder of Turtle Studios in Philadelphia
and has served as its managing partner since 1997. In addition to
producing recordings, he has performed as a pianist and singer in
over a dozen blues, jazz, soul, rock and country bands. Jay is also
a seasoned technology analyst with 15 years of experience, and works
as both a consultant and a volunteer leader with several of Philadelphia's
leading non-profit and cultural arts groups. Learn more at http://www.turtlestudios.com. |
Return to the
Fast Forward archives. |
|
Print this page
